DOBBY'S CRUSH!!!
by Casey Mountain
Summary: Well, its not really a horror story, but if you like Ron or Harry, you'll be Horrified!! }:)> And its not R yet, but its getting close!! Eep!
1. Dobby's Crush

Dobby's Crush  
**A narrative by Dobby**  
  
Dobby is sitting in the kitchen at Hogwarts, watching Winky, yes he is. Dobby is then thinking how pretty Winky's nose looks when she is not rubbing it tomato red, not that Dobby doesn't *like* Winky's nose tomato red! Dobby is loving to look at Winky! He even shirks his duties to watch her, yes he does, Sir or Miss!   
*meanwhile...*  
Ron is sitting at the table in the Gryffendor common room, yes he is! He just isn't able to stop thinking about her, no he isn't! He is just sitting and stareing into space, while Dobby's friends, Harry and Hermione try to make him talk, or stop saying 'I love her, I love her.' Dobby is not liking Ron anymore! Ron is liking Winky, and Dobby will have Winky, yes he will!   
  
**real text**  
  
Ron sighed for about the fourty-fifth time in five minutes, causing Harry and Hermione to stare at him again. "Whats wrong with you, for the seventeenth time?" Harry inquired. Hermione simply glared. "Isn't it obvious? He likes someone." "Oh" was Harry's reply. He stared at Ron. This wasn't like his friend at all. Who was he obsessing over, and why? Ron kept murmmering gibberish, until Hermione got close to him and listened for about a minute, then pulled away in disgust.   
"What'd he say?" Harry looked half eager, and half scared.   
"He said 'Oh, for the love of all house-elves, she, Winky, the most wonderful.' over and over, then he went into some censored stuff and Shakespear." Hermione shivered.  
"Ron? I think you need to eat something. Ron?" Harry looked worried. Ron simply lifted his chin and stared at the ceiling. "Oh, Winky, my precious, I love would love to be in thy presence, on sweetest of the sweet, most beautiful of the beauties. Thy nose, though squashed, is the most wonderful one I have ever seen. Your eyes are like the stars in the heavens..." and on and on. Finally, Hermione stunned him and floated him down to the hospital wing, where she told Madame Pomfrey that he wa seriously ill, and she would find out how when he woke up.   
  
Dobby sat in the kitchen, staring across the room at the back of another house-elf, wearing little skirt and cap. "Winky, Dobby is loving you and you is not even knowing that he does. Poor, poor Winky. Dobby will slay any competitors for your affection, even if he has to slay Harry Potter!"   
Another elf, who had overheard Dobby, stared at him for a while, and then moved on, whispering something to the elf next to him, who backed away from Dobby.  
  
That afternoon... the inevitable happened. Dobby was making the beds in the fifth year's dorm, when he heard Ron back in the common room. "I love her. Winky-" And Dobby listened no further. He stormed out of the room, purposely not making Ron's bed.   
  
Dobby sat many long hours in the kitchen, doing nothing at all, but think of ways to kill Ron, the human he hated and despised so much. As he mentally ranted, the other house-elves giving him a wide birth, he realized that his 'Ron-Winky Problem' was actually very easy to solve. He, Dobby, would go and poison Ron, then save up his gold, and buy a ring for Winky so that she would be with him forever. What a ring did, he did not know, but it must be very powerful, for it kept two people together until one took it off. Maybe it brainwashed one. Yes, that was it! One was brainwashed, so the other could tell them, that before they were brainwashed, that the had be such good friends, and wanted to spend their lives together... Yes! That was how it worked! Now with a good, firm idea in his head, Dobby set out to accomplish his task.  
  
  
**NEXT MORNING**  
Ron, Harry, and Hermione all sat at the Gryffendor table, unaware, that underneathe it, Dobby was rubbing a poison on Ron's robe where it would rub against his skin and kill him. Walking off with satisfaction, Dobby went off to count his Galleons....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer:: Yeah, yeah. the usual... Characters belong to J.K.R. and  
the story line and general insanity is ALL MINE!!!!!! 


	2. The Mess- Up

THE MESS-UP  
  
Dobby sat in the kitchen smiling. Everything was going Dobby's way, yes it was! He had the silliest expression on his face- one of simple, undaunted bliss. He had enough to buy Winky the pretty, bendy ring that was purple and green. It was made of something that the store called 'plastic'. 'Plastic'. That must have been the stuff in the ring that brainwashed the person. Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was the 'jewel' that brainwashed the person. Now, which part was the jewel, and which part was the ring? He would have plenty of time to figure it out, now that Ron was gone. He smiled to himself and began to finger some polish he had bought for the ring.  
  
Ron sat in transfiguration with a foolish, dreamy look on his face. He was so inattentive that he successfully transfigured his quill into an apple and back again, faster than Hermione. He received (both unperceived) a compliment from Professor McGonagal, and an angry, while marveling and proud look from Hermione, who had been tutoring him. He smiled absently when Harry told him he looked like Draco staring at Millicent Bulstrode, and thanked him. Hermione gave a giggle, and quickly disguised it as a cough.  
  
After classes, Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Neville all sat at a table in the Gryffindor common room, doing homework, and occasionally setting Ron afire to make him pay attention. By the end of their homework, he was covered in several scars from Hermione alternately burning and healing him, as it was the only way to get his attention.  
  
Dobby whistled as he made the Gryffindor beds. Ron was gone, and he had Winky. He had taken his day off for the month to get Winky's green and purple, 'plastic' ring, and was going to polish it when he was back in the kitchen. Just as he was about to leave, Dobby heard voices. The voices came up the stairs, and he automatically recognized them as belonging to Harry, Hermione, Ron and- RON!!!   
  
RON WAS ALIVE!! At first, Dobby couldn't believe his ears, but then remembered that they were huge and had no reason to lie to him. He sat miserably in the corner of the fireplace, wondering how he could have made such an awful mistake. Looking at the container of polish he was using, Dobby quickly understood. He was HOLDING the poison!! The stuff he had put on Ron's robe was the ring polish. And how would he have known? There were no distinguishing marks on their containers, and (of course) house-elves are color-blind!! Realization of his mistake made the little elf even angrier with himself... He had polished Ron's robes for him. Well, no matter. He could snuff out that dirty, unworthy little life by himself tonight. With ideas, and evil desires floating about his mind, the scheming little house-elf danced his way back to the kitchen to plan a way to kill the evil, redheaded obstruction in his path to capture the heart of a certain house-elf. However, he was unaware of the fact that she desired for herself something else...  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters= J.K.R's, all else is mine. 


	3. Winky Wishes

Winky Wishes  
  
...Winky sighed as she worked. Harry Potter was such a NICE person! She wished that he noticed that she was a nice house-elf. Sighing again, Winky picked up the bowl of batter she had been stirring, and turned around. She startled herself so much that she almost dropped her bowl of batter. Why was Dobby staring at her? Shivering, she carried the bowl over to a waiting tray and poured the liquidy matter in and slid the baking pan into the open oven.   
  
Walking back to her counter area, Winky was confronted by Dobby. "What is you doing, Dobby? Winky is needing to do her work, yes she is!!" "Dobby is wanting to talk to Winky, just for a little bit of time." Dobby filled his large eyes with a pleading look. "Well... What is Dobby wanting to talk to Winky about?" "Dobby is... is..." Dobby turned away. "Never mind, Winky."   
  
Eyeing him suspiciously, Winky returned to her work, the name which she so loved playing over and over in her mind. Why, she though, why can't Harry Potter like Winky? While she pondered this, Dobby's thoughts were on something else. "How will Dobby kill Ron? Ron is in the way and must be eliminated!" Repeating this over and over earned Dobby a strange reputation over the next few days. Compared to him... Winky was acting normal! Usually she was quietly obsessing over how her Master's son had betrayed them. This was very strange, and so the two lovesick elves got many strange glances and much space between them and the other elves, as though they held some highly contagious sickness.   
  
On the next Saturday evening, only two house-elves stayed in the kithen. Winky had decided how to make Harry Potter like her, the answer was not at all simple, and not at all legal. A love potion. She would make a love potion and give it to her Harry Potter during the next morning's breakfast pumpkin juice. She wandered off for about a half an hour, gathering her ingredients Dobby stayed behind for something quite different.  
  
Dobby stood near a tall, bubbling cauldren, occasionally standing on a tall stool to check on it. He would make sure he killed Ron. As his poison simmered, he watched Winky through half-closed eyes. As the bubbling cauldren lulled him to sleep, he only had one thought on his largely confused mind; Winky, Winky, Winky.  
  
Winky and Dobby both smiled to themselves. They were going to get the person they loved. Dobby's poison steadily bubbled in a massive fire-blackened cauldren, while Winky chopped ingredients for her love potion and tipped them into another, greenish cauldren as someone had created a nasty mistake in a glowing formula and the cauldren had always been rather... green. Sighing in unison, and not realizing it, both elves pictured themselves, happy. And if all went well, they would be happy. Winky smiled to herself as she thought of how she and Harry Potter would spend their love together. Dobby giggled malevolently at the thought of killing his competition and arch-nemesis, and all for his beloved; She would love him even more for helping her choose.   
  
At the Dormitory, Harry and Ron were both quietly sitting in a corner, blissfully unaware of what was happeneing in the kitchen. Both were obsessing over their crushes....  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters= J.K.R's... INSANITY IS MINE!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MINE I TELL YOU!! KEEP AWAY!! Er... yeah. 


	4. Lets Drag Some Teachers Into this, Shall...

Lets Drag in Some Teachers, Shall We?  
  
Harry smiled. He liked a tough teacher. Especially one with *shiny* hair... "Snape... Snape..." He grinned foolishly over his newest crush. Cho was alright, he thought, but Snape, what a beautiful name.... Snape. What a beautiful subject he taught... Potions. The name was just as slippery as the shiny hair...  
Ron, who was too busy obsessing over Winky, didn't notice.   
Both boys managed to keep up in classes, dreamy looks on their faces each time a house elf, or, in Harry's case, Snape, passed by them. Harry began excelling in potions, while Ron continually got sick with bizzare wizard diseases, such as Kondifufu Kough, Ripicaw Rash, and the elusive Flippenon Flu, with no idea how he contracted them.   
Dobby would sit sniggering in the kitchen, long after the other house elves had gone  
to care for the needs of the houses, about how Ron would surely die this time, and why he hadn't been maimed with the Klokif Frizzers, or the Jellkiz Warts. He was trying, but maybe Ron did deserve Winky if he could survive all this.  
  
Harry foolishly smiled his way through potions class, his eyes heavy-lidded as he stared at his favorite teacher... his love... Professor Severus Snape...   
  
Snape had noticed Harry's sudden interest in his classes, and was almost curious to find out why. His curiosity overcoming him, Snape asked Harry to stay after class, and the reaction he recieved was frightening and almost sickeningly so.   
Hearing that Harry was to stay after class with... with... HIM was nerve wracking.  
There was no way to fix himself to be more presentable. When class ended, Harry flattened down his hair and tried his best to straighten out his robes in order to look presentable.  
Snape stared at Harry. What was wrong with this boy? Just a few weeks ago, he had been horrified when he was pulled after class, and was now... enjoying it? 'What a strange little person. His scar must be getting to him.' thought Snape, thoroughly bemused. "Whats gotten into you, Potter?" He asked, his smooth, harsh voice sending shivers up and down Harry's spine.  
"Oh..." Harry snapped back to reality."Oh, nothing, Professor. Why?"  
"You've been acting extremely strangly over these last couple weeks, and I intend to get to the bottom of this!"  
"I hope so." Harry smiled in what he hoped was a mischevious way and said "Is that all, Professor?"  
Snape backed away slightly as though Harry had contracted some sort of horrible disease and replied with disgust, "I think so. You may go."  
Harry walked meanderingly back to the Gryffendor Common Room, while Snape slowly creaked an old, but well concealed door behind his desk open, and walked into the room. Before him lay a wide expanse of pictures, quills, and papers, all of it devoted to one student; Hermoine Granger. "Why, my darling?" Snaped closed his eyes, and sofly sang, "Why can't you turn your face away, from the studies of the day, turn you thoughts to those you know you cannot fight... And study me to the glory of my might...." As his voice slowly faded, a sharp knock sounded from the outside and Professor Mcgonagall's voice could be heard through the door. "Are you done in there? Its time for dinner, and your slytherins were wondering about your absence." Snape sharply turned and called back, "Tell them I'll skip the meal tonight... I have some- business to attend to."  
"Alright, then." The clicking footsteps faded down the hall, and Snape breathed a sigh of relief, "Almost caught. We can't have that with a Student-Teacher relationship... but I wonder whats gotten into Potter? Whatever it is, I wish Hermione would catch it."  
  
Ironically enough, what had 'gotten into Potter' was the love bug, and it would only too soon seep into Hermione's innocent mind...  
  
  
  
  
***Ooooohhhh!! Cliff-hanger!! Sorry this isn't a very long chapter, I've always been extremely gifted at getting to the point... But, **Disclaimer: Characters= J.K. Rowling's, the Evil ickle ficcie is MINE! ALL MINE!! 


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